Answers: Week 1

Originally written by Doug on 17 Jul 2004.
For the inaugural “Ask Doug” article, I have three questions I will be answering. First of all, I would like to thank many of my adoring fans. I have received 7 emails since the creation of the page only a week ago, 4 of them fan mail. I love receiving fan mail, hate mail, death threats, ransom demands, and marriage announcements, so keep that mail coming. I also take requests for article topics seeing as how I can’t seem to write one on my own. Remember, no subject is taboo. Now lets get to the answers.

First Answer: 9 inches.

Second Answer: Sang Min Yoon is most definitely dead. I went to his deli in Fairfax and they were using his body as a speed bump in the parking lot. After the 5 minutes of enjoyment it gave me to run over his body, I determined it was gay, and left.

Third Answer: First off, I would like to say that I am left handed, so I have an especially large amount of expertise for this question. And now a little background. Bill Gates is right handed, but 4 out of the 5 designers of the Macintosh computer were lefty. That would probably explain why Mac’s are both hand compatible (one button mouse). However, I hate Mac’s. Anyways, using a computer as a lefty is a test of adaptation. I learned from a very young age to use my right hand with the mouse. Most mice are generic, but it’s generally easier to just use the mouse where it lies (usually on the right). Besides, as a computer user, you have several advantages as a lefty. If you’re a guy, there are obvious advantages to using the mouse with your right hand. Also, when you type, it is said that your left hand does 60 percent of the typing because most of the more popular letters (a, e, r, s, t) are on the left side of the keyboard. The bottom line is, I can use a computer just as easily as any other right-handed chump. There is no need to make computers more left hand compatible.

One more quick note on left handers. Kurt Cobain was left handed, and apparently Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr were lefties as well.

Props to Adrian for being left handed as well. He knows better than anyone the joys of using a mouse right handed.

Well that’s all for this week. Keep on doing what you do, just remember to wash your hands.

-Doug