Ask Doug
Posted in Advice by demo
Originally written by Doug on 31 May 2005.
Lets get right to the meat of this cow…
Question from: Stupid (i’m already thinking the name might answer the question)
The other day I asked my girlfriend to get in a catfight with this other girl, and instead she got mad at me and now it’s more likely that she’ll fight me than another girl. I really want to see a catfight though. Help me!
Answer: Catfighting is illegal in all 50 states and the District of Columbia, and the federal Animal Welfare Act (2003 i think) prohibits the interstate transportation of cats, girls, or whatever you call them these days, for fighting purposes. Forty-seven states, the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico, and the Virgin Islands have made catfighting a felony offense. Forty-five states, the District of Columbia, and the Virgin Islands prohibit the possession of cats for fighting. And “Stupid”, this is for you; 48 states, the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico, and the Virgin Islands prohibit being a spectator at a catfight.
Question from: Dan Ansel
#1- hey doug, what you do you think about the guy that shot all of those people in the courtroom in atlanta and got away yesterday? is he the first person to ever make an escape like that?
#2- i need a good idea for a fundraiser for a club at my school. do you hjave any good ideas?
Answer (for #1): What the hell are you smoking, do you think I remember that? What was yesterday for you looks like 2 months and 18 days ago to me. All i know is that if i were to attempt such a feat (1992 New York, 1995 Washington (State), May 2000 Okalahoma, June 2000 Texas (i had an itch that year), 2001 Richmond), I wouldn’t get caught…
Answer (for #2): Something that i always look for in a fundraiser is A) Cost to myself, and B) profit potential, in that order. So the key is, come up with an idea that has little or no embarrassment/time commitment to yourself, but makes the most money. May i suggest, if this is a coed club, a fundraiser where the hot girls in the club give me their numbers and i give the club a cut of gimme-five’s advertising profits.
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