Guest Article: Sheryl Crow’s toilet paper commentary

Ed Note: This is a guest article, written by JJ.

First off, let me say that I love Sheryl Crow. She’s easily one of my all-time favorite artists. She’s a brilliant musician and a fantastic songwriter. Having said that, I really hope she sticks to music from now on.

By now, I’m sure you’ve all heard about the “Sheryl Crow toilet paper” story that began circulating a couple of weeks ago. The story involves a recent blog entry posted by Ms. Crow herself, in which she submits her assertion that we can all be a part of the global warming solution by reducing the number of squares of toilet paper we use to one square per person, per lavatory visit. She also goes on to suggest that people should no longer use napkins. You can read her blog here.

Initially, people took Sheryl’s comments quite literally. And she instantly became the punch line for every joke told on late night television for a solid week.

Now it seems as though the joke is on us.

Since posting the controversial comments on her blog, Ms. Crow has tried to “clear the air” about her endorsement of toilet paper conservation, claiming it was all just a joke, a mere ploy to shine a light on the topic of global warming, a catalyst to get people talking about the issue, etc.

Gee, thanks Sheryl. That’s exactly what the world needed. We needed Sheryl Crow to make jokes in an attempt to raise awareness about global warming, as if we don’t already get it drilled into our skulls on a daily basis. “What’s that? Global warming, you say? Never heard of it.” Thanks again, Sheryl. Don’t know what we’d do without you.

But the funniest aspect of the whole “trying to get people talking about the issue” explanation is that (as it relates to Sheryl’s blog post) nobody was talking about the issue, which is the environment and global warming. Instead, everyone was walking around feeling really sorry for Sheryl Crow’s thumbs, and talking about what an absolute mess her underwear must be. Essentially, it had the exact opposite effect of what she claims to have been aiming for.

Well, anyway, there is still quite a bit of debate as to whether or not Sheryl’s comments were serious or if they were made in a tongue-in-cheek, sarcastic manner. Obviously, there are only two possibilities, and I’m not sure which is worse. Either (a) she has made an ass of herself by being absolutely serious with her commentary, or (b) she has made an ass of herself by joking around and making a mockery out of a cause she is supposedly supporting. One would think that a person who is serious about trying to save the environment would not be sarcastically or jokingly suggesting absurd solutions to the problem. That’s actually a position that a global warming “denier” would take, isn’t it?

Listen, say what you will about Al Gore and a lot of the crap that comes out of his pie-hole, at least he genuinely believes in what he’s saying. You would never see or hear him making light of the issue, because he is actually committed to solving environmental issues that he perceives to be a problem. Just like you’d never see or hear Angelina Jolie trying to be funny by offering ridiculous suggestions for solving the AIDS crisis in Africa. This is because she is truly committed to rectifying the situation.

So I guess the bottom line is this: It doesn’t really matter if Sheryl Crow’s comments were serious or not, because in either case she comes out looking like an idiot. Sorry, Sheryl… you should stick to music.