From The Art of Manliness, a blog a really enjoy reading:

Discipline is essentially the ability to put off what we want in the moment for what we want in the long run. By now, almost everyone is familiar with the famous marshmallow experiment run by Dr. Walter Mischel. Four year old children were each given one marshmallow. They could either eat the marshmallow immediately, or, if they waited 15 minutes for the lab assistant to return, receive another marshmallow, thus doubling their prize. The kids who were able to wait generally went on to become successful and well adjusted adults, while the kids who gobbled the first marshmallow had more trouble dealing with stress, frustration, and impulse control . . . .

By far, this is my favorite passage:

Stop thinking of your “flaw” as part of your identity. Part of why it’s hard to make changes in our lives, why we find ourselves unsuccessful in changing our habits, is that we rationalize our weaknesses as simply part of “who we are.” We assuage our guilt but adopting them as part of our identity, as part of our shtick.

We’re the jolly fat guy who makes self-deprecating jokes and amazes people with how many slices of pizza he can wolf down. We’re the funny drunk who always gets totally plastered and cracks everyone up with our antics. We’re a night owl, dammit! That’s how we roll, burning the midnight oil! We’re the player, not because we can’t keep a girlfriend but just because we crush a lot!

We do so much rationalizing that it can be downright painful to change; we feel like we’re losing a part of ourselves. Maybe our habits aren’t making us happy, but at least they give us the stability of an identity, the comfort of routine. What happens when the fat guy slims down and the drunk gets sober? Who are we then?

When it’s time to shape up your life, it’s crucial to replace your old identity with a new one; it’s the same concept that applies to changing your habits. Instead of being the jolly fat guy, become the super fit, former fat guy who loves being active. Instead of being a playah, become known as the guy women would love to date, a true gentleman.

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