Originally written by Doug on 17 Jul 2004.
For the inaugural “Ask Doug” article, I have three questions I will be answering. First of all, I would like to thank many of my adoring fans. I have received 7 emails since the creation of the page only a week ago, 4 of them fan mail. I love receiving fan mail, hate mail, death threats, ransom demands, and marriage announcements, so keep that mail coming. I also take requests for article topics seeing as how I can’t seem to write one on my own. Remember, no subject is taboo. Now lets get to the answers.

First Answer: 9 inches.

Second Answer: Sang Min Yoon is most definitely dead. I went to his deli in Fairfax and they were using his body as a speed bump in the parking lot. After the 5 minutes of enjoyment it gave me to run over his body, I determined it was gay, and left.